Teach Me How To Dougie
by lucaya
Summary: For a stuffed dolphin, he's pretty philosophical. Maybe he got it from Ally. / future fic *ONE-SHOT* [austin/ally]


**this might be awful because it's a transition piece from gmw to a&a lmao sorry**

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><p>He hadn't got him out, in what - four or five years? The poor dolphin was just sitting there.. giving him the look. The stinky eye.<p>

And - hell! - he was nervous and he didn't have anyone to talk to, really. Unless you wanted Dez to give you uncanny advice and Trish to squeal like a squirrel. Certainly he couldn't talk to Ally. Or Lester. I mean, he asked Lester and everything but talking to him for "pre-pre-wedding jitters" is odd._  
><em>

Looking at that poor... beady... black... eye, he just _had _to take him out of the box and dust him off. The dolphins hair was stuck together and dust crawled around his skin. Austin wasn't sure if stuffed animals could get fleas. If so, he probably had a dozen.

The belly of said dolphin was now a faded brown instead of white; while the top was still grey, it was missing more than a few strands of fur. Also, on top of that, it was missing an eye.

What had happened to his poor old friend?

He must be infested, Austin thought. Oh well, the more company, the merrier.

So, instead of throwing him out into the garbage can like a _real _man - or so, he set the banged up stuff animal on his made bed. Austin didn't have any stuff animals left, he was a _grown _man - honest! - but broken Dougie looked so lonely and sad and he felt as if he was saying: _You left me in a box for five years, at least let me have some company!__  
><em>

So of course, Austin being the _grown man_ he is, went to go comply with the stuffed animal's orders. He went digging through some other boxes strewn through his new apartment that he had bought for him and Ally. **Ally's Stuffed Animals **one read.

Hers were... in such new condition. They were too good for his pathetic excuse of a stuffed animal. I mean, if _she _still had Dougie...

Perhaps, he thought, some from mine.

After he found them and placed them on the bed next to his ol' buddy Dougie, it looked like one of those horror movies. His mind went places like Toy Story where the toys took over the children.

But of course, him being a grown man and everything _didn't _watch that movie everyday.

Speaking of his stuffed animals lied out on his bed, there was a frog, a gigantic bear, and of course - Dougie the Dolphin.

Cue the therapy session.

After grabbing a chair and getting a few refreshments for the four, he began to talk.

"I'm proposing to Ally," he said to Dougie.

_She's too good for you_, his one eye said back to him.

Is this weird, Austin thought, that I'm talking to an inanimate object?

"I know, I know! She's always been too good for me, hasn't she? How nice she is to people, the goodness in her heart, her _voice_. Well, then I figure I shouldn't propose to her, now should I? If she kept you instead of me, you would be in perfect condition - I tell you. Have you seen her stuffed animals out in the hall?"_  
><em>

Dougie's one beady eye looked at Austin long and hard. _Oh, you big bloke! I was only joking. Half - sort of. Of course she's too good for you! She's too good for everyone she knows!_

"That's true, I suppose," Austin replied to the toy.

_And yes, Austin_, Dougie stared at him with a glare, _I have - in fact - seen her stuffed animals out in the hall. Wow, to consider. If only she took care of me... I wouldn't have so many flees!_

"You have _flees_? Ew!"

_You know... _Dougie said _you shouldn't be concerned that I have flees... you should be concerned that you're talking to an inanimate object and making up the whole conversation in your mind._

Who knew, Austin thought, that a stuffed animal could be so judgey? He told his feelings to Dougie.

It's almost as if... that one beady black eye rolled it's eyes. _God, Austin... get over yourself... you're not that great._

"Are you the one who is a best selling artist? I didn't think so..."

_I'm an inanimate object that his been stuck in a box with flesh eating mites. I don't think I have had much time to sell a best selling album._

"For a stuffed animal, you're quite cruel."

_Why...why would Ally choose you to marry? What did you call it? Pre-pre wedding jitters? I was kind of rooting for Dallas..._

"I know you're in my head an everything, but you're really rude. I guess I won't propose to her anymore.."

_Now...wait. Ally loves you. She does, I know that. I don't know **how **I know that, considering the fact that I have been stuck in a box for five years. But even when I wasn't stuck in a box - in your fetus stages of life, I could tell she really liked you. For you. Not just for your looks, and if it was for your looks - Ally must actually be **really **confused because you're not that cute._

The stuffed dolphin, actually, could be pretty encouraging if he wanted to be.

_Now, instead of asking some piss ass questions, ask yourself why do you exist? Why is there something instead of nothing? We already know that she cares for you and wants you to propose to her...now get to the real stuff. I'm full of knowledge._

For a stuffed dolphin, he's pretty philosophical. Maybe he got it from Ally.

His "pre-pre wedding" jitters have almost passed now, and it's good enough to propose to the one person he's only ever loved. He supposes that he will get crazy nervous before, but that's expected - right? She has got to say yes.

Now, he thought, it was time to put Dougie away. He's pretty creepy now.

_No, no, no! _You could pratically hear the stuffed dolphin scream in the silence. _I promise I won't make anymore snarky comments!_

Well...he did leave him stuck in a box for five plus years... So, how about, he leaves him on his bed? Just for a little bit... Ally won't see.

_:::_

With a ring on the girl's finger, the newly-enganged couple entered their new apartment. Boxes were still scattered around, some stuff was opened from previous snooping around.

Her eyes glazed around the messy apartment in happiness.

This is _their _place! _Their _getting married! This felt so surreal to her.

Something was out of place, though. What was on their bed?

"Austin..." Ally said in confusion, looking at the messed-up stuffed animal. "What is Dougie doing on your bed?"

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><p><strong>lmao this was so weird : :-)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) enjoy**

**+ this was a transition piece so i can get back to writing austin and ally instead of gmw**


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